The happenings of your mind

It’s the sound your mind makes. When you drift off into yourself, and reality gets pushed behind. It’s something you don’t notice until you are snapped back into realness.

Inspiration can be found in anything you find beautiful. Whether it be an ugly beauty, or the definition of it, it can stir something within you. Sometimes its effect is great. Sometimes it’s meant to stay in that moment. Wherever you find it, keep it close. Let it ignite your ambitions, and steer your flight.

Lights connecting in your brain, ideas begin to shine through the rest of it all. You get lost in the paths intertwining, creating a maze of thoughts–the kind where there’s no way out.

You know, it’s kind of like those drawings you would make as a kid–at least the kind I would make. Where you make lines and shapes on a page of paper without picking up your utensil, and you find a way to connect it all. Then, you fill in each shape made with different colors, creating a map of colors. That’s what I imagine creativity taking shape from inspiration looks like.

And my favorite part about it? No two drawings look the same. It’s like a snowflake but cooler. It’s created solely from your beautiful mind.

You have it in you. Everyone does. At different extents. Different pictures get painted. Some people use colors that others don’t. That’s what makes thought so interesting.

Embracing it is a whole ‘nother level of beauty. That’s the kind that inspires others. People living with this breadth are my favorite kind of people. Life seems better when you surround yourself with thinkers.

 

It happens in a moment

Life as we know it. What is it exactly? You think you know what it feels like to be in whatever life you have, then BOOM, it–oh so suddenly–is something different. How can time make life feel so different? How can something that was once so familiar become to feel so distant, and odd? Realizing it tho. That’s what’ll get ya. The feeling comes so quickly. You know, it’s kinda like the feeling you’d have trying to catch butterflies while running down an avalanche. Super unsettling. Super strange. Super unstoppable. No answers as to why or how. Just that feeling. And then, BOOM, you’re pulled back into your current reality…you look up from the picture the ground painted and move forward.

Something you thought you wanted, suddenly seems unworthy. Something you were so unsure about, suddenly has a distinct direction.

The kitchen floor your bare feet scuffle on is now different. Your daily routine starts to actually resemble a routine. Your waist is thinner. Your views are more colorful. People leave. People come.

 

Life gets different.

 

And you adapt to it; unaware of the smells and sights you used to know drifting further and further away from your consciousness. It’s only until a moment, a moment that the life you know dissipates, where something is catapulted back into your mind.

‘Hmm. That feels like something I used to know.’

But you can’t keep onto it. As quickly as it comes, it goes. All that’s left is that feeling of uneasiness because you know you just missed something. It’s like a dream that you know you vividly dreamt, but when you wake you suddenly can’t remember a lick of–only the lingering feeling of it. Floating in this awkward presence, your past life rubs with your current. Just enough to remind you that you lived once before.

From the Storyteller’s Daughter

You taught me to laugh with life. You taught me silliness. You taught me to have big goals. You taught me to live purposefully. You taught me that being me is exactly how I should be. You taught me that I deserve the best, and nothing less than a King.

You taught me all this with more than just your words, but with your actions–how you live your life.  I learned from watching you. Watching you be kind and helpful. Watching you take on projects bigger than yourself and thrive. Watching you make a positive impact on your community as well as everyone you meet. Watching you teach. Watching you be a father. Watching you is an inspiration.

You choose to live your life full of color. Not many people can truly say that for themselves. To me, you always go above and beyond. You are the best of the best in my eyes.

You are a storyteller. At home, in class, and on stage. Your stories are personal and told with awesome gusto. It’s always like the first time you’re telling it. Watching you speak is thoroughly enjoyable, but watching your audience is almost better. People want to hear you speak, I can tell. Eyes are full with excitement, and smiles are ear to ear. You touch people’s hearts and speak to them with a bigger message. All storytellers have something to say, but  you emanate a special aura in the room the way you do it. It’s hard to explain. It’s one of those things you understand when you witness it in person.

Your stories are so great because of where they come from–experience. You experience life at a much larger level than a lot of us, and your stories enable us to see life like you do for that moment. Sometimes it’s funny. Sometimes it’s serious. It’s always beautiful in its own way. Your view of life is one of my favorites. Your view of what I am capable is what pushes me every day. You believing in me is something I cherish, and don’t take for granted. You make me want to be great–to do great.

Today is your birthday, and we get to celebrate your greatest story–your life. Along with everyone who feels they’re lucky to know you, I want to wish you the happiest and best birthday yet! Because every year gets better than the last, daddy.

For the heartbroken

Breakups sure do screw with you. I’ve went from having an entire apartment full of my stuff to having just a lil room. My life got turned upside down. It’s been quite a ride, and sitting back thinking about it all, grateful is what I feel. I’ve been able to make wherever I live comfortable, homey and, most importantly, me. Frequently, I have thought myself out of self loathing, and found new meanings to things. I am one of those hopeless romantic types, and with that comes great heartache. I have lived a version of my own hell, and made my way out a bit taller.

It’s never too late to find yourself and discover what you want. Make the best out of situations, and don’t lose sight of what’s important to you.

Hey, we all have those moments where we feel our whole world is crashing on top of us. Grinding teeth, shaky hands, and stuttering words are side effects of shit hitting the fan. I am no stranger to tough emotional times–just like everyone else. I think it’s important to remember that you’re not in it alone. You are not the only person feeling tragic and hopeless. And guess what? You WILL get through it. I promise you. Lame as it sounds, time will make things better. Perspectives will change. You’ll start to feel stronger. The little things will become more important. Life will be enjoyable again in ways you thought weren’t possible.

For me, my head and heart are constantly fighting. I actually have dreams of me shouting at myself, “Stop caring!” I often wonder if it’s better to be smart and protect your heart, but then I wonder if it’s better to love hard even if you might get hurt. It’s a predicament that I’m sure many can relate to. Heartache sucks ass. Big time. Even if you allow yourself only a week or even a day to feel sad, that week or day will be the longest and suckiest time you’ve had in awhile. Guaranteed torture. Like rib stabbing torture. Heartache is heartache–no matter how long it lasts.

The conclusion I’ve come to, at this moment in my life, is that feeling is the most important thing to me. I want to feel it all–happiness, excitement, flattery, pain, heartache, disappointment…As long as I know I am living out every moment, I’m okay with the fact that afterwards may not feel as great. I guess I’d rather love than to not love. I’d rather hurt after a heartache, than not have that love in the first place. Give me pain if it means I can feel love.

Life is like a lake

When a wave crashes into the rocks, the energy of the wave is absorbed back into the waves behind it–adding to another wave that moves around the rocks and coasts into the beach. No matter what, the wave WILL reach land. The waves are working together. The lake is one body–one universe

So maybe it works the same way with thee universe.

Every decision, tumble, or regret we make creates momentum within us. It is what propels us to what we do next. There are no missteps. Only experience that adds to the momentum of our life.

Say life is a straight line. And every step we make is on that straight line, even if we don’t feel like it is. Even if we feel lost, or going the wrong direction. Everything behind us is contributing to our next step on that straight line. Meaning, our past is pushing for our future. The past does not dictate the future, but it’s the energy left over that leads us to our right path.

So, if life is like a lake full of waves, then no matter what, our destiny is to touch land. If we let the lake guide us and help us we can soon coast into land. But if we fight it–ignore our intuition and that maybe the universe wants us to succeed, then we’ll stay stuck out in deep rough water.

Your path is there. The matter isn’t finding it, but it’s allowing yourself to trust the universe enough to lead you to it.

Live life. Enjoy life. Love life.

Where we gonna go from here

Change up that song you’re listening to. For me, it happened around a bend. I find beauty and excitement in not knowing what there’s to see around this bend. When I get around it I see something I don’t expect–clarity. I swear my heart jumps a beat as the moment takes my breath away.

THIS is how I want to feel.

I want to feel excited about something I know nothing about yet. I want to be excited about it all, feel it all, and take as much of it as I can in.

It–being life, I suppose.

I feel like I have been in the indecisive stage of my life for way too long. I haven’t really found a focus towards any particular passion. I hit a rut. Feeling stuck and  unsure about most things.

Moving on though, I realize a few things. I have this fire in me that wants to do something big and awesomeI want to push myself to new places and feelings. I want be on the track to discover the best me.

There will always be something that holds one back. So you just have to ask yourself. Do you want to sing something new? There’s a lot of shit that we force ourselves to deal with. Stress. Overworking. Exhaustion. Boredom. Indifference. There’s more out there– you know it too! Stop pretending or making excuses as to why you can’t do something you want to do. So you gotta think, besides the impossible,  what the hell is holding you back? Find out, and karate kick it away!

Wander on, fools.

Sometimes you have to pull to receive.  Things we let push into our lives don’t always turn out being what we actually want. Rather, we need to pull and cherish the things we love and enjoy.

We grew up with fairy tales and movies showing us that it’s possible to be have a happily ever after. Yet, we are constantly reminded that those tales are, in fact, fairies spewing lies of happiness. We are taught to listen to other people, learn what they tell us, and live by those standards of humanity.

But, I think, being human is exactly the opposite. We are the one species who have the ability to have our own thoughts, think about those thoughts, and pursue any goddamn thing we want. We have thumbs, legs, and a smart as hell brain for a reason. We are meant to create our own life–I mean if we have the ability to then why shouldn’t we be meant for greatness?

It true, a lot of us are phonies waiting for something wonderful to get pushed into our lives. Life can be less complicated that way, I’m sure. But, you want a wish to come true? Well you’re going to have to lay your ass down, and take some time to look up into the sky for those magic balls of light to streak through our sky for the 2 seconds we can see them. Opportunities are like those shooting stars. They’re there. Right above us. Flying by for us to look at them, make a wish, take a chance, and believe in something bigger than what we have. We have the ability to hope, to wonder, and to wander.

So wander on fools, because what better things do we have to do right now?

Make a move, man.

If you don’t give something a chance, you’re risking missing out on that something… So which is the greater risk? Risking giving something a chance? Or risking missing out on the effect it may have on your life?

Weird to think about, right?

I mean, how are we supposed to know which risks are the risks that will positively influence us? We do only have a certain amount of time to put our efforts into…

So, risks–chances really. Say you have the chance to do something, meet someone, or go somewhere. When/where is it that you decide that that chance is not worth taking. Unless you’re a mind reader,  I would say you are taking a bigger risk by choosing to not take that chance.

With me?!…

So, you might as well make a damn decision AND TAKE THAT CHANCE.

 

Can you go under the limbo stick?

I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words, how wonderful life is while you’re in the world.

This is your song.

This is your life, and you can sing how you want to.

The hardest part is deciding how you want to live it, right? Because if it was easy we would have more people working jobs they enjoy,  we would be vacationing often, and we’d end up with our soulmate, right?

Maybe life is suppose to be hard, confusing, and daunting. Maybe we need to be scared shitless in order for the universe to throw some balls in our court. Maybe it’s testing us all on how bad we want it. Greatness is brewed in the journey. We can’t Netflix and Chill, and expect our minds to stay sharp and ambitious. Things don’t just roll out perfectly. Actually, things have a way of turning out different than how you want, so it’s up to you to work your booty off to make it right. Especially if you are interested in actually enjoying your life.

There’s a difference between being content with your life, and thoroughly enjoying it. To thoroughly enjoy, you gotta actively  be a part of your life. If you mindlessly work it away, and then spend the rest of your time melting your brain in front of your super thin TV, you might lose sight of what’s really important. LIVING. DOING SOMETHING. MAKING SOME TYPE OF IMPACT ON SOMETHING. Putting effort into something feels good. It’ll make you want to do more. Try it out with me, I’m new to this whole real world thing, too.

If you are having trouble focusing your life onto something, know you are not alone. I thought I was the alien in the crowd, but talking to other people, I have found that everyone goes through a limbo stage in life. I have also found that when I tell people I am currently focusing on enjoying my life and just doing me at the moment, they nod with understanding. They then proceed to tell me that they themselves aren’t sure what they want to do with their life. Keep in mind that these are also people who have their degree–hell, even their masters. These are people who chose a path, and have realized it may not be the best one for them. But you don’t see many actually change the course that they’re already on. Why? Because it’s probably fucking hard!

We are all on the search for happiness and enjoyment. Just because you jumped through the hoops of college, and kiss your boss’s ass doesn’t mean that your shit is forever together. Enjoyment comes when everyday you actively put something into your day. You can’t expect the universe to just give you want you want without you giving it anything, did you?

 

 

What happens when you drive on the wrong side of the road?

A friend recently gave me some advice. He said, “Emily, you know, you can choose how long you want to feel bad about a shitty situation. You can let it affect you all the time for a long time, or you can decide that you’re ready to just move on. You know, it’s a lot like a technique people use to grieve. You set aside something like 5 minutes a day to allow yourself to feel bad, cry, scream, do whatever you need to do. When the 5 minutes are up the rest of the day you don’t allow the bad situation to enter your thoughts and take over your day. You make it a priority to move on, and to be happy. I mean, who says you have to stay unhappy for awhile.”

And I thought, ‘you know what…that’s fucking great advice.’

They drive on the other side of the road in Europe…on the other side of the car. Oh, and not to mention skinny windy roads where technically the speed limit is 100km/h, but you’re struggling driving them at 40km/h. But that’s Ireland for ya. Visions of me accidently driving us off a cliff and seeing the ocean surface get closer and closer to our windshield before water explodes into our faces definitely played in the back of my mind a few times the night before I had to drive. But when I hopped into our tiny car off to our adventure I felt oddly in control. Which, I realize is a feeling your should have while behind the wheel of a moving vehicle. But I mean I oddly felt in control of my life at that moment–doing something I had never done before, had scary dramatic visions of, and yet I felt…intrigued. I was taking a direction.

This was the first big trip I planned, payed for, and attempted out of the country. I had no idea what to expect, and mostly no idea how I’d feel. I didn’t want to have too much expectations of having life altering realizations while in Ireland, but I guess I did hope for a lil something. So, as I’m embarking on a journey where it just seems too good to be true, no clue on what to expect, I find myself zooming through the Irish country roads adoring the breathtaking scenery–having the time of my life. There’s my lil something.

Once you allow yourself to be open to things, you learn a lot about yourself. So, let yourself try something new. Let yourself feel butterflies. Let yourself laugh with strangers, and let yourself fall into adventures. Because when you drive on the wrong side of the road, you’ll find that it’s a hell of a lot of fun and something you want to be familiar with.